Main  Contacts  
Table of contents
Introduction
The Feminine Mind-1
The War Between the Sexes-2.1
The War Between the Sexes-2.2
The War Between the Sexes-2.3
Marriage-3.1
Marriage-3.2
Marriage-3.3
Marriage-3.4
Woman Suffrage-4.1
Woman Suffrage-4.2
Woman Suffrage-4.3
Woman Suffrage-4.4
The New Age-5.1
The New Age-5.2
The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana. INTRODUCTION
THE VATSYAYANA SUTRA-1-2
THE VATSYAYANA SUTRA-3-4-5
OF SEXUAL UNION-1-2
OF SEXUAL UNION-3-4-5
OF SEXUAL UNION-6-7-8
OF SEXUAL UNION-10-11
ABOUT THE ACQUISITION OF A WIFE-1-2
ABOUT THE ACQUISITION OF A WIFE-3-4-5
ABOUT A WIFE-1-2
ABOUT THE WIVES OF OTHER MEN-1-2
ABOUT THE WIVES OF OTHER MEN-3-4
ABOUT THE WIVES OF OTHER MEN-5-6
ABOUT COURTESANS-1-2
ABOUT COURTESANS-3-4
ABOUT COURTESANS-5-6
ABOUT THE MEANS OF ATTRACTING OTHERS TO YOURSELF-1-2
CONCLUDING REMARKS

prudent and decent girl avoids such overtures, and they must be made by 

third parties or by the man himself. This is the explanation of the fact 

that a Frenchman, say, is habitually enterprising in amour, and 

hence bold and often offensive, whereas an American is what is called 

chivalrous. The American is chivalrous for the simple reason that 

the initiative is not in his hands. His chivalry is really a sort of 

coquetry. 

 

 

 

 

20. The Unattainable Ideal 

 

 

But here I rather depart from the point, which is this: that the average 

woman is not strategically capable of bringing down the most tempting 

game within her purview, and must thus content herself with a second, 

third, or nth choice. The only women who get their first choices 

are those who run in almost miraculous luck and those too stupid to 

formulate an ideal--two very small classes, it must be obvious. A few 

women, true enough, are so pertinacious that they prefer defeat to 

compromise. That is to say, they prefer to put off marriage indefinitely 

rather than to marry beneath the highest leap of their fancy. But such 

women may be quickly dismissed as abnormal, and perhaps as downright 

diseased in mind; the average woman is well-aware that marriage is far 

better for her than celibacy, even when it falls a good deal short 

of her primary hopes, and she is also well aware that the differences 

between man and man, once mere money is put aside, are so slight as to 

be practically almost negligible. Thus the average woman is under none 

of the common masculine illusions about elective affinities, soul mates, 

love at first sight, and such phantasms. She is quite ready to fall in 

love, as the phrase is, with any man who is plainly eligible, and she 

usually knows a good many more such men than one. Her primary demand 

in marriage is not for the agonies of romance, but for comfort and 

security; she is thus easier satisfied than a man, and oftener happy. 

One frequently hears of remarried widowers who continue to moon about 

their dead first wives, but for a remarried widow to show any such 

sentimentality would be a nine days' wonder. Once replaced, a dead 

husband is expunged from the minutes. And so is a dead love. 

 

One of the results of all this is a subtle reinforcement of the contempt 

with which women normally regard their husbands--a contempt grounded, as 

I have shown, upon a sense of intellectual superiority. To this primary 


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