Main  Contacts  
Table of contents
Introduction
The Feminine Mind-1
The War Between the Sexes-2.1
The War Between the Sexes-2.2
The War Between the Sexes-2.3
Marriage-3.1
Marriage-3.2
Marriage-3.3
Marriage-3.4
Woman Suffrage-4.1
Woman Suffrage-4.2
Woman Suffrage-4.3
Woman Suffrage-4.4
The New Age-5.1
The New Age-5.2
The Kama Sutra of Vatsyayana. INTRODUCTION
THE VATSYAYANA SUTRA-1-2
THE VATSYAYANA SUTRA-3-4-5
OF SEXUAL UNION-1-2
OF SEXUAL UNION-3-4-5
OF SEXUAL UNION-6-7-8
OF SEXUAL UNION-10-11
ABOUT THE ACQUISITION OF A WIFE-1-2
ABOUT THE ACQUISITION OF A WIFE-3-4-5
ABOUT A WIFE-1-2
ABOUT THE WIVES OF OTHER MEN-1-2
ABOUT THE WIVES OF OTHER MEN-3-4
ABOUT THE WIVES OF OTHER MEN-5-6
ABOUT COURTESANS-1-2
ABOUT COURTESANS-3-4
ABOUT COURTESANS-5-6
ABOUT THE MEANS OF ATTRACTING OTHERS TO YOURSELF-1-2
CONCLUDING REMARKS

19. The Actual Husband 

 

 

So far as I can make out, no woman of the sort worth hearing--that is, 

no woman of intelligence, humour and charm, and hence of success in 

the duel of sex--has ever publicly denied this; the denial is confined 

entirely to the absurd sect of female bachelors of arts and to the 

generality of vain and unobservant men. The former, having failed to 

attract men by the devices described, take refuge behind the sour grapes 

doctrine that they have never tried, and the latter, having fallen 

victims, sooth their egoism by arrogating the whole agency to 

themselves, thus giving it a specious appearance of the volitional, 

and even of the audacious. The average man is an almost incredible 

popinjay; he can think of himself only as at the centre of situations. 

All the sordid transactions of his life appear to him, and are depicted 

in his accounts of them, as feats, successes, proofs of his acumen. He 

regards it as an almost magical exploit to operate a stock-brokerage 

shop, or to get elected to public office, or to swindle his fellow 

knaves in some degrading commercial enterprise, or to profess some 

nonsense or other in a college, or to write so platitudinous a book as 

this one. And in the same way he views it as a great testimony to his 

prowess at amour to yield up his liberty, his property and his soul 

to the first woman who, in despair of finding better game, turns her 

appraising eye upon him. But if you want to hear a mirthless laugh, just 

present this masculine theory to a bridesmaid at a wedding, particularly 

after alcohol and crocodile tears have done their disarming work upon 

her. That is to say, just hint to her that the bride harboured no 

notion of marriage until stormed into acquiescence by the moonstruck and 

impetuous bridegroom. 

 

I have used the phrase, "in despair of finding better game." What I mean 

is this that not one woman in a hundred ever marries her first choice 

among marriageable men. That first choice is almost invariably one who 

is beyond her talents, for reasons either fortuitous or intrinsic. Let 

us take, for example, a woman whose relative naivete makes the process 

clearly apparent, to wit, a simple shop-girl. Her absolute first choice, 

perhaps, is not a living man at all, but a supernatural abstraction in 

a book, say, one of the heroes of Hall Caine, Ethel M. Dell, or 

Marie Corelli. After him comes a moving-picture actor. Then another 

moving-picture actor. Then, perhaps, many more--ten or fifteen head. 


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